Helix Motorsports

Outstanding Service, Maintenance, and Performance for Your BMW and MINI

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WE BUILD BIKES

SKI BIKE

From entry-level Marin hardtail to sketchy winter thrasher.

In the beginning…
We decided to make a full-sus bike out of a barn door hinge and questionable rear suspension coilover.
The front swingarm bracket on delrin bushing.
Ready for the slopes!

WE BUILD CHOPPERS

Here’s Helix hall-of-famer Dane riding our first iteration one-handed like a boss.
Version two will be a mullet three-speed (front derailleur) with suicide shifter. Stay tuned for updates.

EVERGREEN VINTAGE CANNONDALE

Just a re-squirt and single-speed conversion of an old Cannondale in the greatest car color ever stumbled upon.

WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS

Sir Winston Churchill vs. Lady Astor:
Lady Astor: “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.”
Sir Winston: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
Member: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows, or of some unspeakable disease.”
Disraeli: “That depends, Sir, upon whether I embrace your policies, or your mistress.”

“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” – Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” – Clarence Darrow

William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway):
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”

Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner):
“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” – Abraham Lincoln

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill:
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.”

Winston Churchill, in response:
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” – Jack E. Leonard

“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.” – Robert Redford

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” – Thomas Brackett Reed

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts… for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx